The words "were" and "wolf" are inherently unexciting. However, when combined, they form one of the coolest sounding words in the English Language: werewolf. Now I personally believe that there should be more 'were creatures' out there. So I went investigating...
And I heard that there is an old parable in the Pacific islands somewhere, where there was this fisherman dude, who like was out fishing and junk; and it might have been a full moon too, as that would make sense... But anyway, a shark creeped up and bit him. And then he became a wereshark. Which is awesome. Although I dunno if it was like one of those reverse Mermaid deeleys 'cause it would suck if he couldn't go into the village, with his top half being all sharky, or if he "turned" when he was still on land... He would just be flopping about the place! It would be ridiculous. So maybe it's not as good as werewolf, and you'd have to live on a beach, or keep a tank of salt water and secretly swaddle in it, on those full moon nights...
So what other awesome were creature combinations are out there? Well theres 'werebear', which is probably pretty ferocious; and most likely hangs about in caves. Ohh werebat, which is like a more hardcore version of batman. The 'weresquirrel' - the scourge of the forest. The 'wereninja' which is what every young man dreams of, where a ninja comes along one night, and bites you! And from then on... during the full moon, you have ninja powers.
My current favourite and one of my own design is 'wereT-rex'. Imagine that. You're driving along the empty, misty, freeway, in the dead of night. You pass a hitchhiker and flip the bird at him as you drive by... Yeah you're cool. You've got your "Bryan Adams" blasting out your stereo, s'all good baby... And then your car breaks down -
put put put nnneeeeeoooo. And the fog rolls in-
wooooooshhhhh... But the full moon is giving everything a gentle glow.
Maybe even an owl hoot, does this need an owl hoot?The figure of the lowly hitchhiker you 'bird flipped', assembles out of the mists. Trouble is... He just keeps on assembling. And the next thing you know, there's a mutha flippin
wereT-rex eyeballin' you up.
Now, there's a lesson to be learnt here... don't go messin' with time travel... and, Bryan Adams? Seriously?
The word 'were' is now also the reason I will no longer be visiting any retail parks as they are all full of werehouses... Now I know this is a ridiculous notion, but have you ever been in a retail park in the dead of night, when the moon high, and the place is deserted?
Well now that you've thought about it, then you probably agree on some base level, that that's a pretty scary situation to find yourself in to begin with. Now imagine all those werehouses surrounding you... You can't, can you? It's just too unsettling to comprehend. And lets not even get started on the logistics.
But i'll leave you with a final thought... What happens if a werewolf is bitten by a wolf? Or if a wereninja is bitten by another ninja in a ninja battle? Is it like typing google into google? (I hear this is where blackholes come from) Ooohhh wereblackhole.
